...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
