yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
