Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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