I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
