I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize