ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
