this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well I just put wine in my tea
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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