I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
