Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize