Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
ugly people sure do ruin things
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She bit a glass in half.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
