he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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