Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
