My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
