It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize