i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
