I am spending my child support on dildos
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
