Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize