So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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