is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
