we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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