I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
