Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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