Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
