One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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