that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
