It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
