He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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