so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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