Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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