His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
