am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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