thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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