dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
