The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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