The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize