I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
