Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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