1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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