Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
