Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
