I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
