Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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