Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
