ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
