Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize