D3 body, D1 cock
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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