i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
