Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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