He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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