well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
