but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
