the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
