I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
soo... how was my night?
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