I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
