Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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