Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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