it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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