I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
