I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
