I want to make a zoo with you.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize